The Mauling News (Archive)
An irreverent look at the news (not) making headlines!
Can you name the 3 books that keep our presidency afloat?
Why are more and more South Africans staying unhappily married?
Mauling News: The Big 5
Eight 5's to go with Oscar Pistorius' five year sentence.
Hurricane Gonzalo is scheduled to hit the UK
Negotiations with striking postal services workers have reached a dead end. It would seem that Authorities are going to have to push the envelope. Union leaders have been urged to start thinking outside the mail box.
Fizzy drinks are as harmful to your health as smoking
The Beijing marathon carried on this past weekend even after it was almost cancelled due to air pollution. Must competitors said that had a very good smog.
Prestigious rice brand in trouble
We were going to buy lunch for our Boss for Bosses Day yesterday till we realized he doesn't pay us enough.
The Best of Mauling News
Find out what is making news headlines today!
Heathrow airport screening passengers for Ebola
There are talks of making a Ghostbusters 3 movie with an all girl cast: proposed tag line: I ain't afraid of no heels!
Willie Nelsons original braids sold for R1 million
After a cell phone exploded on a bus in China. Chinese authorities are discouraging Chinese citizens from buying cheap or unlicensed products, said Chinese spokesperson. Yee ahh right!
Sentencing for Oscar Pistorius starts today
Texas reports its first case of Ebola. This strain however is different, it's easier to spot under a microscope. Because everything in Texas is bigger.
Alcohol was originally a preservative
Our favorite international cricketer we love to hate, Kevin Pietersen has shocked the world with a tell-all book. One of the more shocking revelations about the book is that Kevin Pietersen can read and write!
The Best Mauling News ever again!
Darren’s satirical take on whatever is making news headlines Worldwide
The Best of Mauling News
Darren’s satirical take on whatever is making news headlines.
I am bisexual - Dewani
We feel it necessary to explain to Shrien Dewani that Bisexual is men and women, not just when you pay for it #JustSaying
The Amashova is this weekend
The Oxford English Dictionary now officially includes the words "chillax" and "whatevs. We think this is quite Shweet and agree hundreds bru. Lukka.
The Best of Mauling News
Darren’s satirical take on whatever is making news headlines!
Apparently Peace Doesn't Pay
The World Summit of Nobel Peace Laureates was cancelled as 6 delegates pulled out in protest of the Dalai Lama being denied entry to SA. Hmm yeah, the problem with peace is that it doesn't make you a lot of money.
The Mauling News
An irreverent look at the news (not) making headlines!
Beyoncé had a wardrobe malfunction
Heads up. If you return home from a trip to Europe to find that your daughter in SA has lost a milk tooth. Please remind the tooth fairy not to pay HER in Euros.
Captain America film scheduled to be shot in SA
It has emerged that the extensive spending at Nkandla was focused on the chicken coop, the coop was reinforced to contain all the scapegoats.
Kanye West loves Kanye West
If you are a Pirates Bulls and ManU fan this Monday Are you feeling black and blue and a bit red in the face? #JustSaying