Carly's Couch On the Couch with Carly

The art of gifting: How men can do better on special occasions

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On behalf of women everywhere, this episode is dedicated to helping men understand why over 90% of women feel dissatisfied on special occasions like Mother's Day, birthdays, and anniversaries. Drawing from my clinical practice and conversations with clients and friends, I break down the five love languages framework as a practical tool for meaningful gift-giving.

This isn't about expensive presents - it's about intention, effort, and showing that you've been paying attention. I walk through each love language with specific examples: the art of thoughtful gifting (beyond just buying something), creating quality time experiences, meaningful acts of service, physical touch that meets her actual needs, and words of affirmation that show you truly see her contributions.
The episode includes practical tips like putting important dates in your calendar with advance alerts, understanding that preparation time is part of the gift, and why the entire day matters, not just one gesture. Essential listening for anyone who wants to show appreciation in ways that truly land.

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Chapters
  • 00:29 Episode dedicated to dads: how to do better with gifting
  • 01:06 90% of women feel dissatisfied on Mother's Day and special occasions
  • 01:42 Why mothers feel underappreciated and underloved
  • 02:54 Five love languages as framework for better gifting
  • 03:17 Using love languages in couple relationships after baby
  • 04:25 Understanding your partner's love language preferences
  • 05:32 The five love languages explained (gifting, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation)
  • 06:44 Taking the love languages quiz to identify priorities
  • 09:30 The art of gifting: paying attention throughout the year
  • 10:31 Creating gift notes on your phone for future reference
  • 11:30 Making gifts personal and thoughtful, not just expensive
  • 12:54 How to deliver meaningful gifts with intention and words
  • 13:57 Selecting jewelry and connecting gifts to your feelings
  • 17:39 Gifting experiences like dinner dates and quality time
  • 19:46 Physical touch as love language for special occasions
  • 21:16 Offering meaningful physical intimacy and massage
  • 23:52 Words of affirmation and recognizing invisible labor
  • 25:20 Using ChatGPT to help with words when you're stuck
  • 26:46 Specific thank you examples for mothers and partners
  • 29:15 Creative ways to deliver words of affirmation
  • 29:46 Post-it note surprise idea throughout the house
  • 31:00 Quality time: one-on-one time away from obligations
  • 32:45 Doing new activities together instead of awkward restaurant dates
  • 34:54 How to present quality time gifts with proper intention
  • 36:47 Mothers need alone time more than couple time
  • 38:30 Gifting solo time: taking care of kids while she relaxes
  • 40:37 Acts of service: going to work doesn't count as a gift
  • 42:35 Doing household tasks better than usual, not worse
  • 44:37 Making breakfast special with extra flourishes and effort
  • 46:21 Try to meet at least two love languages per occasion
  • 47:25 She needs to receive something immediately when she wakes up
  • 47:45 Put important dates in your calendar with advance alerts
  • 48:44 Four times per year is minimum effort for your relationship
  • 49:32 Planning ahead is part of the gift and will be noticed
  • 50:43 Using the entire day, not just one gesture
  • 51:30 Going the extra mile shows dedication and effort
6 Aug English Explicit South Africa Self-Improvement · Relationships

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