Capacity Building | Candice Yorke, Counselling Psychologist

Gershom Aitchison hosts counseling psychologist Candice Yorke and educational leader Jacqueline Aitchison to explore one of the most urgent questions facing parents, educators, and teens today: how do we move beyond merely surviving to truly thriving? They unpack why the modern obsession with constant happiness—fueled by social media, the wellness industry, and diluted self-help promises—often leaves us stuck in coping mode rather than building meaningful, flourishing lives. Drawing on positive psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and real-world experience with adolescents, the conversation challenges the pursuit of endless highs and instead champions purpose, contribution, emotional capacity, and the courage to sit with discomfort as the true path to well-being.

The speakers differentiate happiness (often inward and fleeting) from flourishing (outward-focused, meaning-driven, and built through service to something greater than ourselves). They explore how over-protection, victimhood culture, avoidance of frustration, and the biomedical “quick-fix” approach can unintentionally foster learned helplessness in young people—robbing them of agency, grit, and lifelong resilience. Instead, they advocate intentionally building capacity first: creating a bigger “dam” to hold life’s challenges so resilience and grit can follow naturally.

Parents, teachers, and teens will leave with practical insight into the team sport of growth—where schools, families, and young people all have roles to play. This isn’t about slogans or Instagram wellness; it’s an honest call to stop diagnosing only what’s wrong, start strengthening what’s strong, and embrace the uncomfortable work required to live with purpose and flourish.

Key takeaways:
- Pursuing constant happiness is often self-centered and unsustainable; flourishing comes from meaning, contribution, and service to something bigger than yourself.
- Growth requires discomfort and frustration—avoiding these robs young people of motivation to learn, build skills, and develop true capacity.
- The biomedical model can over-pathologize normal struggles and create learned helplessness; building strengths and agency must come first (medication has its place but isn’t the full solution).
- Capacity precedes resilience and grit: it’s the inner resources that get you back up after life knocks you down—without it, resilience can’t activate.
- Over-protection (removing all discomfort) and victim/rescuing/persecutor dynamics (Karpman’s drama triangle) unintentionally teach helplessness instead of agency.
- It takes a village—parents, schools, therapists, and the young person themselves must collaborate; real growth is a long-term team effort, not a quick fix or solo journey.