Stuck in a cycle of breakups and makeups? Here’s why…

Loading player...
We've all been in a relationship that just can't seem to make up its mind.

One day you're together, the next day you're broken up, and a week later you're back on again.

While this cycle of breakups and makeups can be exhausting, it's actually more common than you might think.

According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, a whopping 37% of cohabiting couples and 23% of married couples have experienced a breakup and then gotten back together with their current partner. That's a lot of people stuck in a cycle of uncertainty!

So why does this happen and what are the consequences of being in an on-again, off-again relationship?

The same research suggests that couples who experience breakups and makeup during the dating phase are more likely to continue this pattern into cohabitation and even marriage.

It’s not just a matter of "oh, we're just figuring things out". The reality is that on-again, off-again relationships are often marked by lower quality and more uncertainty.

In fact, couples who have experienced breakups and makeup report being less satisfied in their relationships and having more uncertainty about their future together.

What can you do if you're stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship?

According to Psychology Today, you can start by taking a step back and evaluating your relationship. Are you truly happy, or are you just holding on because it's comfortable or familiar?

Next, consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who can help you and your partner work through your issues and develop healthier communication patterns.

Finally, remember that it's okay to walk away if the relationship is no longer serving you.

It's better to be single and happy than stuck in a cycle of breakups and makeups.
26 Feb 2025 English South Africa Society & Culture · Personal Journals

Other recent episodes

HPV Prevention: Stacey Norman shares her journey and an expert weighs in

Last year the National Department of Health shared that Human Papillomavirus vaccinations will be conducted at public, special, private and independent schools by teams of healthcare workers. The Department has stressed that Cervical Cancer is highly preventable through the HPV vaccination. They further encouraged parents, caregivers and legal guardians to…
18 Feb 8 min

Homework vs TV: A would you rather with the kids of KZN

Every Wednesday, the little ones of our province take over our airwaves with their cuteness. It’s a chance for the kids of KZN to share something with us. This week, Aunty Stacey and Uncle J Sbu asked your little ones: Would you rather not do homework and never be able…
18 Feb 1 min

Who actually has the "license" to discipline your child?

Discipline is the ultimate balancing act, but lately, the scales are tipping. These days, we see very different worlds. Throw in the reality of parental fatigue, that bone-deep exhaustion where you just want to tap out without being judged and the lines get even blurrier. So, here’s the real question…
17 Feb 11 min

Financial abuse by loved ones - when is it too much?

This week, Stacey and J Sbu touched on a topic plaguing many South African households. From a R100 here, to a R500 for this and before you know it - you have no money in your bank. J Sbu shared a touching, personal story about his struggle with financial mistreatment…
16 Feb 12 min

Varsity Cup: Emeris players AB Mthembu and Jacques Marais share it all

They’ve earned their spot. From unbeaten Shield champions to stepping onto the biggest stage in university rugby, the Varsity Cup. Now, flying the KZN flag with pride, hunger and something to prove, the Emeris boys are in the building. Stacey Norman and sports lead Nick Tatham spoke with AB Mthembu…
11 Feb 7 min