Ep 3/12 || Divorce, Art and Finding your way with Lira van Staden
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In this deeply moving and honest conversation, Pierre sits down with artist, teacher, and divorce doula Lira van Staden.
Together they explore the intersections of creativity, loss, personal reinvention, and what it truly means to find your voice again after life doesn’t go according to plan.
Lira shares her journey from a childhood dream shaped by societal expectations to becoming a celebrated public artist and a compassionate guide for those navigating the pain of divorce. They discuss the cultural narratives around marriage, the subtle early signs that relationships are changing, and how grief can be an essential — and even beautiful — part of starting anew.
This episode is a powerful reflection on resilience, authenticity, and the unexpected paths life asks us to walk.
Get in touch with Lira:
Instagram @divorcedoulafindingaway
Whatsapp: 082 524 5375
www.divorcedoulaway.com
Time-stamped Topics
00:00 – 03:14
Introduction: welcoming Lira and setting the stage for a conversation about voice, identity, and healing.
03:15 – 08:06
Growing up with music: Lira’s early life, family dynamics, and discovering her passion for song.
08:07 – 12:40
The spiritual nature of creativity and Lira’s early vision for her music as a tool for uplifting others.
12:41 – 18:55
The stroke: what happened, the early stages of recovery, and the initial fear of losing her voice.
18:56 – 24:12
Relearning language and connection—how losing speech changed her understanding of communication.
24:13 – 29:05
Identity outside of career: what happens when you can no longer be who you’ve always been.
29:06 – 35:11
Living slowly, with presence: learning to rest, listen, and be with herself in new ways.
35:12 – 40:34
The body as teacher: embodiment, patience, and how the body carries wisdom the mind can’t access.
40:35 – 45:22
How creativity returned in new forms—through visuals, silence, and rhythm.
45:23 – 50:01
The relationship between voice and spirit: how singing again helped her reconnect with herself.
50:02 – 55:10
On joy, gratitude, and finding beauty in the ordinary—despite limitation.
55:11 – 1:00:40
What recovery taught her about self-love, patience, and grace.
1:00:41 – 1:06:00
Closing reflections: honoring life as it is, and trusting the long road home.
Key Takeaways
- Grief is not a detour; it is a necessary part of personal transformation
- You can lose yourself in the idea of a life before you realize it
- True love accepts, rather than tries to change, the other person
- New identities are often hidden inside old stories
- Trusting your instincts early can save years of pain
- Post-divorce life is not survival, it can be a season of creativity and hope
Together they explore the intersections of creativity, loss, personal reinvention, and what it truly means to find your voice again after life doesn’t go according to plan.
Lira shares her journey from a childhood dream shaped by societal expectations to becoming a celebrated public artist and a compassionate guide for those navigating the pain of divorce. They discuss the cultural narratives around marriage, the subtle early signs that relationships are changing, and how grief can be an essential — and even beautiful — part of starting anew.
This episode is a powerful reflection on resilience, authenticity, and the unexpected paths life asks us to walk.
Get in touch with Lira:
Instagram @divorcedoulafindingaway
Whatsapp: 082 524 5375
www.divorcedoulaway.com
Time-stamped Topics
00:00 – 03:14
Introduction: welcoming Lira and setting the stage for a conversation about voice, identity, and healing.
03:15 – 08:06
Growing up with music: Lira’s early life, family dynamics, and discovering her passion for song.
08:07 – 12:40
The spiritual nature of creativity and Lira’s early vision for her music as a tool for uplifting others.
12:41 – 18:55
The stroke: what happened, the early stages of recovery, and the initial fear of losing her voice.
18:56 – 24:12
Relearning language and connection—how losing speech changed her understanding of communication.
24:13 – 29:05
Identity outside of career: what happens when you can no longer be who you’ve always been.
29:06 – 35:11
Living slowly, with presence: learning to rest, listen, and be with herself in new ways.
35:12 – 40:34
The body as teacher: embodiment, patience, and how the body carries wisdom the mind can’t access.
40:35 – 45:22
How creativity returned in new forms—through visuals, silence, and rhythm.
45:23 – 50:01
The relationship between voice and spirit: how singing again helped her reconnect with herself.
50:02 – 55:10
On joy, gratitude, and finding beauty in the ordinary—despite limitation.
55:11 – 1:00:40
What recovery taught her about self-love, patience, and grace.
1:00:41 – 1:06:00
Closing reflections: honoring life as it is, and trusting the long road home.
Key Takeaways
- Grief is not a detour; it is a necessary part of personal transformation
- You can lose yourself in the idea of a life before you realize it
- True love accepts, rather than tries to change, the other person
- New identities are often hidden inside old stories
- Trusting your instincts early can save years of pain
- Post-divorce life is not survival, it can be a season of creativity and hope
