"I will not become what I witnessed."

In this episode of Something Shifted, True Crime South Africa host Nicole Engelbrecht reflects on how childhood trauma shaped both her identity and her work, telling some of the country’s darkest stories.

Nicole Engelbrecht grew up in a world where some stories were never meant to leave the house. Violence, addiction, and instability lived quietly behind closed doors, and like many children raised in chaotic environments, she learned early how to survive by staying small, solving problems, and never becoming another burden.

Years later, Nicole would build a career telling some of South Africa’s darkest stories. Listeners often ask how she can immerse herself in crime and tragedy every day and still sleep at night.
For most of her life, Nicole believed the answer was simple: resilience.

But the truth was more complicated.

Nicole traces the hidden survival strategy that shaped her identity. From midnight moves and silent family secrets to raising a child while still in high school and forging her own path at seventeen, she learned to keep moving forward.

Then, decades later, a small moment - a passing explanation on a psychology podcast - sparked a powerful lifequake. Suddenly, the resilience she had worn as a badge of honour looked very different.

What followed was the slow, brave work of unpacking the boxes she had built to survive: understanding trauma, rewriting old narratives, and discovering that healing does not mean erasing the past; it means integrating it.

Nicole’s story is about more than survival.
It is about the stories we tell ourselves, and how sometimes those are the hardest stories to share with others.

www.somethingshifted.co.za
Recorded at Latitude Podcast Studio.