The Gareth Cliff Show

Booze ban for Booze bags

20.07.20 Pt 1 - Old people need their vowels to be said out loud. Wolves would be embarrassed by their descendants which we feed and clothe. Should you take series recommendations from friends? The booze ban and the booze bags are now being joined by the booze brass in protest…

20 Jul 2020 12AM 55 min

Mol vs Kalvari: The Final Saga

17.07.20 Pt 2 - The Kalvari/Mol beef can be laid to rest, nothing to see here. Sleep is a science, start doing the work. If you want to have swagger, maybe dress in MAGA. The new Ford Bronco is out, only makes sense for OJ Simpson to be the ambassador…

17 Jul 2020 1AM 1 hr 03 min

Ze Germans & Oprah's chair

17.07.20 Pt 1 - Just to be clear, in South Africa when we party with you while you're alive, we're just practising for when you die... after tears are the best tears. What would you pay for movie memorabilia? People are queuing for porn, plus the Germans are here, but…

17 Jul 2020 12AM 51 min

It ain't easy being Yeezy

16.07.20 Pt 2 - Kanye West has dropped his Presidential campaign, proving once again that it ain't easy to become President Yeezy. If we just cut out the orgies and pole licking, maybe the Covid rate might drop. Al Gore hated Bill Clinton because of the ‘blue dress’ incident, how…

16 Jul 2020 1AM 55 min

Witch's Nipples & Pleasure Tuckshops

16.07.20 Pt 1 - A witch's nipples are always the coldest when facing the South apparently. Are there certain names which should just be retired and left behind... yes Reginald, we mean you. Have you ever thought about humiliation porn at 'Pussy's Tavern'? The Jackson family have just become weirder,…

16 Jul 2020 12AM 56 min

Big Package in the Dutch Oven

15.07.20 Pt 2 - It's ironic how Alanis conveniently didn't use words aptly, considering that she was a writer. If you have a big package, rather take it to Pornhub than The New York Times, you'll get better exposure. Is the ISS just a floating sulphur Dutch Oven? If your…

15 Jul 2020 1AM 49 min

Mega Karen: Chubby & Dangerous

15.07.20 Pt 1 - The way to describe people who report you in lockdown constantly is "Mega Karen!" Just to be clear a sjambok hurts, no matter how fat you are. Alanis Morissette dated Jeff and it didn't end Gladly. When it comes to size, let's face it, it's all…

15 Jul 2020 12AM 56 min

A million ways to be a dead macaroon top

14.07.20 Pt 2 - A million graves is not realistic dear minister, Standard Grade Maths fail. Siya is a macaroon top, not a muffin top... that matters. Should we convert skinny jeans into millennial corsets and save ourselves the complaining? A smart home is at your fingertips, you just have…

14 Jul 2020 1AM 54 min

Booze for the Brexit

14.07.20 Pt 1 - If your breath smells, use cold water. It's science from old wives. Is the booze ban a good or a bad thing and is the 'Thabo Shakes' a real thing? California's Covid rate is through the roof, this is not helping operations in general... what about…

14 Jul 2020 12AM 53 min

Taxi filled to the Maxi

13.07.20 Pt 2 - In the shock horror of all shock horrors, it turns out that a religious institution is at the centre of unspeakable violence and is stealing money from the poor in droves. Lockdown rules took another Cyril infused M. Night Shyamalan like plot twist... turns out it's…

13 Jul 2020 1AM 52 min

The Booze & The Restless

13.07.20 Pt 1 - South African citizens are now dealing with what's being called ‘Cyril Ramafications’. The undertakers are saying numbers are not up from Covid... calm down people, humans are expiring at the regular rate. Is getting tested for the virus useless? There's an entanglement at the Smiths, so…

13 Jul 2020 12AM 58 min

Lizzo... chef or wife?

10.07.20 Pt 2 - Should beauty be beyond skin deep? The key to a stable life is this... you have a thin wife and a fat chef, we all need to know our roles. The bravest man alive is anybody who would father Amy Schumer's child voluntarily. Put pants on…

10 Jul 2020 1AM 53 min

French Letter for the Seoul

10.07.20 Pt 1 - “Dear lover... I send you this here letter for your own safety, it's a French Letter.“ If you see your mom getting romped on her back, what is the logical response? In art, there's perfection and then there's Zimmerman. Shame kills the Seoul. It's always exciting…

10 Jul 2020 12AM 56 min

Juicy farts & Trump is the wall

09.07.20 Pt 2 - It's Juicy, not Jussie. If you can smell a fart through jeans, are you safe from Covid through a mask? A million graves, how long would it take to dig those holes and fill them with bodies? Are South African journalists innumerate? Donald Trump seems to…

9 Jul 2020 1AM 54 min

Maxwell vs Weinstein Round 1

09.07.20 Pt 1 - It seems all of the Three Tenors succumbed to the 'Placido Effect'. So before selling South Africa to the Guptas, Jacob Zuma asked us to listen carefully... 'only 5' was a count of the amount of coffee farms in South Africa... and nothing more. How much…

9 Jul 2020 12AM 59 min

OJ's not mechula

08.07.20 Pt 2 - Let's solve this now... is Liberace the king of the gays, because no human has ever looked that good while being sequence laden? The masks we wear are so that we don't spread the Covid in our throats. What happens if OJ's glove fits on his…

8 Jul 2020 1AM 55 min

WHO needs the USA?

08.07.20 Pt 1 - Get some cream on your hands if you are going to rub them in public. Should you feel filthy for breaking lockdown? Wearing a mask in lockdown, are we living in terror or are you a baby? Is it Ghislaine or "jizz lane", because this is…

8 Jul 2020 12AM 54 min

There's a Gayle in my tunnel

07.07.20 Pt 2 - How long will South African citizens be content to be told "let them eat cake!"? Speaking of cake... Oprah, Gayle and one of the GCS team members are eating their way to lockdown happiness - except now, their jeans don't fit. Are food delivery guys actually…

7 Jul 2020 1AM 45 min

Tombstones for your placenta

07.07.20 Pt 1 - If you are born now you are considered a Cancer... not to society, but because the moon's position and the tides of the sea determine your personality traits apparently. If you want to avoid poop in the shower, then maybe you should buy a placenta from…

7 Jul 2020 12AM 1 hour

Oh no, Yoko Ono!

06.07.20 Pt 2 - Here's a top 10 list you wouldn't want to find yourself on - find out some of the high-profile names linked to Ghislaine Maxwell. Yoko Ono is ill, CHAZ has come to an end and Siya has found out about flying snakes! When you think about…

6 Jul 2020 1AM 59 min